Unless you’ve been under a rock somewhere, you’ve seen or heard something about the death of Harambe, a gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the commentaries out there have absolutely nothing to do with a few simple facts in this case. Before we get into what those facts are, let’s review a few of the more interesting commentaries that have surfaced.

First, let’s start with one of the few voices of reason, conservationist Jeff Corwin.

It is very tempting to get busy with some photoshopping here, so that we can put Corwin in a Captain Obvious costume. That’s not meant as an insult to him, of course. It is definitely one for the public and media who obviously couldn’t figure out his simple message – parents should not expect a zoo to function as a babysitter, ever.

Just for amusement value, let’s take a look at what Rush Limbaugh had to say.

“If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe is still an ape, and how come he didn’t become one of us?”

Really, there are no words to deal with that one. Bless his heart!

Finally, we’ll go with a not-so-random Facebook friend, who had a rather interesting take on the matter:


The name has been hidden by request, of course. The answer is still brilliant in its own way, especially for those of us who loathe Disney.

Well, I’ve watched the Harambe gorilla video, read most of a random News article, AND read the headline on the link to renowned expert Jane Goodall’s opinion.
Guess that makes me an expert, too. Let me just print off a diploma from Internet Outrage University.
(Oh, and I’ve both got friends with kids AND dated several mothers. My internet credentials have long been punched on that one!)
Here’s my take: where ultimate responsibility lies…
Not with zoos, who do important conservation research, raising money in the time-honored way: providing entertainment.
Nor with the parents. (Surprised?) Kids are willful little fuckers and whether the parents were horrified or thought “one down, X to go,” we’ll never know.
So where do I, newly minted gorilla expert and longtime child expert, think blame lies?
Disney. That’s right. The number one perpetrator of “harmless” nature propaganda. Harambe is as much a victim of Disney as Bambi’s mother.

We’d apologize for the profanity, but it’s necessary.

All interesting takes on the situation, but they mostly do not get into the simple facts mentioned at the beginning here. There are no gorilla or child experts here. No experts of any kind. Understanding these three simple facts doesn’t require any expertise at all, truthfully.

Fact 1 – Children are curious, and get into things they shouldn’t because of that. It doesn’t take an expert to know that.

Fact 2 – Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Fact 3 – Not all things that happen in this world can be blamed on something or someone in particular. This is why people say “shit happens.”

Got it? Good!